Guess I'll apologize in advance: If some of my content is too "close to REAL words" for some people... I apologize SLIGHTLY, but it's how I felt at the time and I MIGHT clean it up later for your "viewing or critiquing" pleasures... but not right now! HA~
wont you show your face
so i can hold you close
no more time to waste
touching you...is a thing of the past
kissing you...once more make it last
I don't wanna lose these one time dreams
til I understand just what they mean
I seem to have more dreams than memories
so my life is far from being complete
distant love...are you there somewhere
or in a life I have yet to live
come now... take me there
desert rose..special made just for me
angel song...make my soul complete
is there more to life than what I see
or is loss just the taste of love for me
when I leave this place where will I be
should I disregard the thoughts I think..
if for more than just...
How Deeps Ya Love…
By: Curtis Leon’ Drafton
one day these hands won't be so smooth...
will u still want me to massage ya feet?
one day these lips won't kiss so soft...
can i still taste what i know is sweet?
one day this voice won't be so nice...so low...so right
will we still talk all night?
one day this tongue won't remember differences in flavor...
will my dessert still be u... that deep sugar i savour?
one day this mind won't be so sharp...
will u still trust me in the dark?
one day "i love u..." will sound like "i mud new"
at least from u it will...no teeth and all
but i'll still smile...
nah. i'll laugh reeeeaaaal dang hard!
one day this athlete won't even be able ta run water...
let alone to your arms....
will u still take me if i crawl?
one day this six pack will just be a memory... so... how deeps YOUR love?
will u still curl up...keep warm, all up in me?
one day these eyes won't see u as well....
but i'll still call you beautiful... cause ya love is beautiful
and thats where i'll dwell
don't let me go! don't leave me
BABY!...u got my heart...
so dammit, you's a coward
if you let real love part.
u cried all those nights
least that's what u said...
for a real man,
a real man... to get the aches out yo head.
So cause i'll be old one day,
u decide that love is on a clock?
aren't u my soulmate, my forever
my boo...my rock?
one day ...and i pray...
one day ....you'll still be my baby.
cause i'll love you forever... and a day.
when i lay in that box...dont think that i'm gone....
i ain't goin "nowhere"...
cause "nowhere" aint in your arms.
i'll be in ya heart... cause u let me stay there before.
remember...u told me that i...ONLY i...
had the key to that door.
i love u girl...
so... how deeps YOUR love?
i had a reason... but i lost it
I had dream...but dam it costed...
i had a view but now its frosted,
covered over and discarded
layed over with the grime
from a hard loves time
bitten by the haters
stepped on by the players...
she was jus a lil kid
when we did what we did...
19 in a younger girls mind
dam... to get her out, I had a hard ass time
convinced her it was cool
to be loved and to be loved true
everyDAY i felt her past
instead of tryin ta get some ass
i aint on that...
I wanted real bonds
but all she felt was her souls harm
"debris from the misery that he gave me"..
"I wanna love you, I DO.." is what she'd say to me
"my minds been raped and sometimes my body...
maybe not by hands but THEIR minds plain robbed me..
baby you're a good man"... thats what she said
"but how i know the contagious plagues
they possessed aint leap into yo head"?
"you cook, clean and take care of me...
even talk about wantin to marry me...
but it's a hard road boy, and I'm crazy bout yo voice
but dammit I WON'T...
let the here and now make that choice.
I swear i'm lovin all that you do...
never once hurt my body...
never once insisted on YOU...
Don't you watch the news: young girl 22
to the grave paid her dues
to a fool young and confused
now her daughters a orphan who
never knew mama just wanted...
peace dreams drip into pieces
cause love won't be love after all
she's till sobbin...
I love her...
thinkin about all this queen has jus spoken
I pay my respects to the dead alive beautiful woman
no where near any coffin
Once i had a reason... but I see that I lost it.
NO TAKE BACKS GIRL By: Curtis Leon' Drafton
he cries alone
his tears unheard
cause the world don't condone
a "his tears over her"
his pain is WRENCHING
his souls windows keep it shown
her void, ever present in his soul,
is like skin being torn from bone
he tried his BEST
did all a Nu man could
but his best, by Chance'
wasnt what her hard- heart would
gave up HIS souls desires
HER desires he made his house
slept there, worked there, nourished there
kept his own...quiet...as a ....Mouse
never EVER judged her
4ever let her speak her mouth...
but when it came time to say.."girl I'M tired"
dam.... she put him...out
life... and the beat goes on....
She cries alone
her tears so loud....
her beat don't cease
when the thunder leaves her cloud
her heart now is SMASHED
cause HER love's now anothers
feelin R-E-A-L stupid
cause his love went to... a brotha
"dam i wish i'd kept him...
that guy from OH...and...2...
the one that kept my soul
from a hurt i now know is true..
he never EVER judged me...
put HIS all out on the line...
now look at my dumb self
pullin my head out my behind"
cause now... he wears ... the "Crown"
just... drinks ... it .... D-O-W-N
keep ya change lil' girl...
SHE held me tight against her chest...
told me i'd forever be the best
thing SHE'd ever breathed...
then snow became Fall's leaves,
and i lost my queen.
my mom's cried from in her cells walls....
six feet under, and i heard her calls
for my heart to defeat the snares
of pain, agony, and despair
wrecking my soul and snatchin' my air....
i can't breath...
my father SCREAMED, no noise went around...
his fists meant business, but his eyes were so sound
his stance loosened, his lips were formin' BOY GET UP!'
took my hand and smiled and said "it's jus a cut"...
...but i'm so ...weak
tears fall, but liquid is no relief...
from the flames..."LORD take away this lone sons grief
I'm beggin please NOW...my soul at ease
isn't there grace... toward this heart that's been thieved?
I ..KNOW.. THESE.. strangers, these people... these ghosts
memories i ain't got..but i love em' the most".
I walk with a vision, i know is ghost...so...cold
it must be a dream, cause my hand now holds
another, one so tender, so soft, so warm
i see myself smile..but dam, how come?
who IS this new one... i treasure, i need?
feeling like love... feelin too ...like...a...dream
my mind races back and i scream out WHY???
i dont WANNA be rid of the tears i cry
because of the memory to which they attach...
my soul is HERS...
i know she'll come back...
bring her back Lord..
she needs to come back...
SHE brought me the sunshine...and held me in rain
SHE knew my basis... my foundation, my pride...my shame
SHE loved my person when life loved only my flaws...
she was just confused...
life did her wrong...
my mother smiles...
my Mother ...smiles...
MY MOTHER smiles!
"You thought when we left, that that was it ..we were done?
baby..baby...you are still OUR son
We ok... why you cryin?....HEY! WHY YOU CRYIN??
press on lil boy...go on now...U GOTTA KEEP TRYIN'!
heartache and pain..baby boy you've felt,
but look at what me and daddy were dealt
but yet we rise EVERDAY to see you through
cause God is faithful!...
baby, and God loves....you
everytime you cry...we feel that it hurts
but if WE wipe the tears NOW...we CAN make it work"
I woke up to a wet pillow
I wrote this down cause it was so real to me. Obviously it didnt rhyme i dont think while i was sleep...but I am who i am. :)
Some of you know, I've NEVER seen my real mother and father, cause my dad died when i was 3 and my mother i think sometime after that, I don’t know because she disappeared, But it's been really botherin me over the last few years kinda frustrating me. But somehow I know that the people i saw in my dream were them, and i have these "pictures" in my head now... it'll prolly be easy for someone to say I'm crazy... but oh well. I got my happiness for now. :)
I also wrote this cause honestly, I never really got over my ex-fiance`, who was my TRUE 'second love' and girlfriend period: never had that many and she was the woman i thought i was gonna marry. She was who i was speakin about in the 1st paragraph. I heard late Friday that she passed away, and i had a sorta "oh well"-selfish attitude about it.
I guess this 'dream' was sorta a way for my ex to say she was really sorry.... and i forgive her now truly for what she did back when ta hurt me.
And i guess it was a way for my parents to say both, hello and goodbye. As well as to say everythings gonna be ok...
It feels good to have the tears out the way. Tears i was afraid of at first. And now, i can go on.
We shouldn't live to feel...we should feel to live... Ya know?
do my best ta keep u satisfied....
sexy, fine astrological kind.
broke me down, when we met
knew my past, my pain, my inner secrets.
sugar brown and smooth as ice
I like it girl.... reeeaaal dam nice.
love, love, love
you heard it told before
but you aint eva, no
had none like mines, hell no.
intellectual conversatin' ,sweet water tastin,
time neva wastin, nasty love makin,
DAM SHO can't replace it! ... all the juice i'm losin
my inner mind u bruisin...
but when i commmmmmmme...
slow down woman!
a lil you and me we gon' be producin'
i'm glad ta see u cry...
cause right now in yo eyes,
i see that u realize...
i'm offerin you a prize this lifetime...
cause i do...
God knows it's true...
to be my wife.
why is it that i take all the blame...
for the pain and the misused names
in this hard love game?
all i hear is ' girl he wrong...'
and ' just stay strong'
when I'M the one cryin all alone
all dam night long
what? a man can't have feelins?
in life we all dealin...
least i'm keepin it real in
me i find my own dam healin.
So, who's the one confused and abused
when I brought home ALL my dues
you took all MY fruits
I HELPED BLOSSOM YOU!
without me you just wo-man
not to degrade, but OH-man
you got no game plan
ya best WHOOOAA-man
and keep this YO man...
cause chick understand
that yo girls will HOE-man
and LOCK IN a GOLD-man
w/ simple FLOWS man.
don't even think about creatin
a new me and you nation
when you full o' hatin
you got from a t.v. station.
well Oprah said.... HUSH!
i aint tryin ta complicate this
YOU tryin ta demonstrate miss
talkin Irreplace shit
that we cant make it?
well i guess you don't want too
cause every good thing i give you
suddenly turns into
" i'm confused boo...
need a new book to
have a better sense o' you..
bet Oprahs book review
knows on page 42
what OUR love needs ta do".
what the HELLLL?????
I dont know O and she dont know me
but i bet she'd agree to the
that all you need
you bout ta concede
to them girls u believed
and now they all schemin
on how to get this dream man.
be yo dam self
put Maya back on the shelf
let LOVE in you melt,
love dont need no help!
love is the tightest power
and you in yo "weakest hour"
it's makin you talk sour
and u think you a flower?
rose petals my ass...
step outside the norm
stop settin off alarms
in this love with talk show scorn
that you been studyin all dam mornin
or ya pride'll stay torn
while ya silly tail is all alone
vibrator and cell phone
hopin Energizer keeps goin...
why you mislead MY heart ta think that
you really want me to taste that
but when i caress ya skin and mind
you yell "GET BACK!"...
"it says in Proverbs 31
that a woman should wait til she find that one.."
well yo butt knew that when we begun
silly lil girl full o' cummmmm!
I'm tired of this bullshit
all ya girls playin wit
my name yo name cirCUM-stances
oooohh... "Curtis and you" SENT-ences
i KNOW you puttin em' to it
cause you just can't come through wit
a bold face, "baby I admit
that I wanted...
would loved if
Curtis had ALLLLL of this..."
silly lil' girl~
Goin thru withdrawals at 1a.m.
a fix is all i need
cracked doors or a crack in the wall
just enough for me to squeeze
out of pitfalls darkness
into her arms and light as she exhales
air to my lifeless lungs
for her love i live to inhale
keeps me up in cold sweats
empty solo heartbeat all night
trying any and every poem and prayer
Dear God... I wish I may, I wish I might...
...jus...hold her... tonight
Told her once before
that i nevr knew love like this
now the manta is proven more
cause I'm feenin for just one kiss
these tears, from being alone, are acid
that could sear the skin from bone
But it aint my body its deteriorating
missin her is razing my soul...
A penny for each thought i have of her?
man.. a trillion I'd pay for her call
If i had all the riches of the world
now for her at 2 a.m. I'd burn them all
Some have never seen an angel
for months now an angels chose to see me
Shown nothing but love and understanding
took off her wings to walk with me.
Told Heaven & Earth, she's happy now
floated gracefully down to my side
hugged my hands and kissed my heart
...says i love you with those angel eyes...
her voice makes this man LOVE... his... name...
It's 3 a.m. I'm up and prayin
I realize this & I smile
this babys' brought me closer to God
Cause every second I get, His number I dial
Always askin Him, "Father please forgive us...
of anything wrong we mighta done
Bein carnal Lord, we sometimes slip,
I'm sorry, Help me do right as Your son,
Who loves your daughter with every OUNCE
of my very life and soul,
Can't imagine life without her
Simply put.... she...makes...me...whole.
I... am... complete
Not to say I'm perfect
or that my life's always in tune
I got my flaws, still learnin' from tests
but she makes it easier to do"
look at my thoughts jus ramblin on,
it's 4 a.m...should be in bed
So quickly Lord, Could you tell her i miss her,
He says "Quickly boy... I aint thru with y'all yet"
He winks... I smile...
I love that part
Tells me my heart is good
Not to boast, cause it ain't about me,
A lot of my ways, I learned fro my Sug'
*I am so in love with you Britney Michelle Penermon*
Put my big boots and my ruck sack on
cause i know I got work ta do.
Yeah I'm fightin in Gods Army,
But baby I'm fightin for you too.
It's been said that aint nothin free
& that more than one can recognize a treasure
Well I'm suited and booted for war, and ready ta scrap!
...but i'll do it modestly... lovingly... it'd be my pleasure.
intoxicated… beaten…by my fears
locked away…never having been.
To be seen no more…
to be buried in shame
in the grave within
for years i tossed
sleepless nights outweighed rested
I held my own chest
Cause my loves had done their best
in lives I barely cared for
Was there for
Could fare for
Never to those shared more…
But the pit inside made me swallowed their essence
Just to see in me
Reside with me
Confide in me…
To occupy my need…
void my hole with pieces…
temper my soul with peace-lets...
Long hair fill my hands
So they can feel no more
Perfume capture so I cant
Smell my own rigor
Let your beauty transfigure
my eyes so I cant remember
these pasts grim mem…or…
I remember a time….
Lord is this my downfall?
This well deep inside where
Love’s no tie
Dreams cant fly
Am I still in Adams curse
where his hurts
singe my thirst?
I didn’t ask for this pain
to be laid on this man
In plain sights sand
Swallowed quickly time and again…
Because this pool won’t drain….
I have a HEART!
LORD I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!
Where the love of the sun
Eclipses this forgotten one’s
Entangled circum of
Be the sum of my
Submission to better
Break rusted fetters
in like that a feather
falls from its kept air
to be placed in a work of art
and loved there…
Give me deeper depths
Complete abyss into the asylum
for a world that wont miss
my tears entombed…no twist
So that I may rest at